hard-hard-hard-
...that's how things have been with Jyla.
(so when sweet moments like the one above come along...i have to pull out my camera.
i want to remember the sweet times.)
i limit how much i express the "hard-hard-hard" parts on my blog because i want to respect jyla.
both now & for when she is older & would read this.
it isn't new challenges...nothing has really changed....
there is a very thin line of creating safe & healthy boundaries for her
& then also giving her TONS....(like every single ounce that i can find) of love.
my sin (impatience & anger) is SO glaring in this situation.
i am completely grateful that Jyla has such a wonderful daddy.
he is able to hold her & kiss her & hug her & hold her & kiss her & hold her & hold her :)
when i am physically worn out & needing my space.
he is able to gently remind me of the big picture
& simplify the moments that feel like crisis...(& sound like it)
her "moments" are usually always at home
& then when we are out & about she is angelic...which is good...
but also hard for me to explain our reality to people..
i know she is a child-
i know that ALL children have similar & sometimes "hard to parent behaviors"
but we have a unique situation due to her past...things that arent' typical in biological children..
& it makes it hard when others in an attempt to encourage say "it's normal...my child does such & such sometimes too." i just want to scream...NO-it's not the same.
it is SO 100% different.
pity is NOT what i'm seeking...just wanting to be real & express that behind the sweet moments that i sometimes capture & put on my blog...there are also very weak moments....
when all we know for sure is that God will strengthen us & cover our parenting with HIS grace.
Thanking God that HIS mercies are new every morning & GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS!
& ps- thanks mom for your help & support yesterday!
5 comments:
Since your last email, I have been praying!
I can't relate to your specific frustrations, but in a sense I have had similar feelings with Maddie & her struggles due to her premature birth! Parenting is much more complex when there are uniques issues at play....I agree!!!!
I will pray for god to shower you with peace, patience and grace for each new day!!!
You are loved!
I appreciate your honesty!
praying...
Thanks for being real! Love ya girl. Praying for u...
Kendra
Your honesty here is refreshing. And it is still respectful to Jyla. When she grows up and if she reads this blog, she will see a beautiful record of the love you all have showered on her- and she will see a mom who has taken her worries and frustrations to God for guidance. I can only imagine the challenges you've faced, Ang. I wish I lived closer to you so I could be of more support to you, but I know you have a wonderful group of family and friends that love you so much. Sending lots of hugs to you from far away. Love you, friend.
Praying for your little family tonight. It's good to be reminded because you are right...we don't see the struggles in the cute pictures.
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